Living communally and intentionally

One of the attractions to Wwoofing was to try my hand at living communally. I've always been attracted to the notion of intentional communities and communal living, despite my very traditional, nuclear family upbringing. Early in my marriage, my former husband and I explored co-housing. At that time, it was very popular in Scandinavia and was just beginning to arrive in California. It turned out to be more than we could figure out--we were in our twenties and the notion of securing property and developing it overwhelmed us. So, I spent my child rearing adult years living in a more traditional setting, even after my divorce.

I enjoy solitude, crave it even. But I'm also a social being. I enjoy company, particularly the kind of company that I can choose to enjoy or choose to ignore, depending on my mood. I have found communal living to be as rewarding as I had hoped. We share evening meals and each one of us takes a turn preparing the meal. Breakfast and lunch are on our own, but generally, the interns gather informally for those meals as well. There are many advantages to this arrangement. For one, I find the gathering as a "family" to be very nourishing. During that meal, we acknowledge one another in a really basic level. And while prayer before a meal is not a practice of mine, it is the custom in this household. I find myself enjoying that moment when we hold hands and Wayne or Julia give thanks for a litany of things including the hands that prepared the meal. On a practical level, I'm appreciative that I can count on others to share meal preparation, which frequently can be an opportunity for someone to try their hand at either creating or eating a new dish.

As an empty nester and a single person, I was concerned about a solitary lifestyle and the road ahead. Despite my many friends and extended family, my future was beginning to shape up as evenings out in restaurants, bars, or solitary evenings home. I had perfected the art of going out alone--to the movies, to dine or to certain "safe" bars. But all of this left me wanting. On all levels, it was not a healthy lifestyle.

On the farm, all of this gets turned upside down. Going out is not an option. (Although we did go to the local beer only/pool hall/juke box place called Betty's once). In this arrangement, all chores are shared, dinners are homemade and family style, we share living space intimately (there are 4 people in my bedroom), and socializing is always an option. At the same time, opting out for solitary time is easy to do and something that I do frequently.

I worried that my conversations would be superficial due to the transitory nature of the arrangement. This has not been the case. In fact, the transitory nature of the relationships may give rise to a type of intimacy that is enabled by the fact that there are no social obligations to one another. Whatever the reason, I have had some incredibly touching conversations with people here--the kind of conversations that can change the course of one's life ever so slightly. Perhaps this is what intentional community is all about.